| Hello
Leader,
This
Key helps you re-discover happiness with new eyes. Take a few
moments to reflect on the 20 elements that lead to a happy and
actualized life. Discover how you can help the people who work
with you, your friends and family to be happier and which of
these elements you might want to focus on for yourself. We'll
be glad to hear from you with your comments as well as your
leadership development needs. Please
feel free to forward the Key to friends, family and
associates.
Sincerely,
Aviv
Shahar
Also,
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|
Happiness
Matters!
November
2007 |
|
Are
you surrounded by happy people? Do you consider yourself a
happy person?
"What's the point; happiness is
overrated," you may think. Think again. Happy people are
more productive, more willing and collaborative, more creative
and eager to take initiative and solve problems, have fewer
sick days, attract happy customers, are nicer to be with, and
make for a happier workplace.
Unhappiness
sucks the life out of us. It brings stress, tiredness,
sickness and ultimately kills us. Happy people make your life
easier. They are more energizing to be around. They inspire
you to be a better and happier person yourself.
What
blind spots hinder happiness? Which of these hold you
back?
- Dismissing
the importance of happiness
- Misunderstanding the nature of happiness and its deeper
levels
- Not recognizing what makes you happy
- Refusing to recognize the degree to which you are
influenced by whether people around you are happy or unhappy
- The Absence of one of the 20 Elements of Happiness
We'll
spare you the immense body of scientific research and
discovery about the value of happiness, but there is plenty of
evidence in case you need scientific validation in order to be
happy.
Below are 20 essential elements you will find
with people who describe themselves as happy. If you consider
yourself a happy person, chances are many of these are already
present in your life. If you would describe yourself as
unhappy, this can help you identify the elements that are
absent in your life. You can then choose to cultivate and
develop these elements if you decide it's important to
increase your happiness.
The happiness elements
Read through each of the 20 elements. Reflect on
how you are doing with each of them to get a sense of your
happiness profile. Grade yourself on a scale of 0 to 5 with
each element: 5 represents a sense of being very fulfilled and
feeling that this describes your situation very well and 0
represents the total absence of this statement in your
life.
The
Happiness Profile
- Relationships:
You find open communication in enriching
relationships.
- Meaning:
You enjoy and find meaning in your work and in what you do
with your time.
- Intimacy:
You enjoy a rich and satisfying engagement with another
person.
- Curiosity:
You are interested in new things, and passionate about new
knowledge and experience.
- Contribution:
You make a difference where you are; you help people.
- Trust:
You have someone who trusts you and believes in you.
- Resilience:
You have been able to bounce back, to recover from
setbacks.
- Freedom:
You choose what you want to do, and where, when and with
whom you want to do it.
- Family:
You are close with your family; you stay in touch and
support each other.
- Health:
You make healthy choices, eat healthy and feel fit.
- Laughter:
You see the humorous side of life and you enjoy a good
laugh.
- Optimism:
You see problems as temporary and focus on positive
outcomes.
- Productive:
You are productive; you take action and accomplish what you
set out to do.
- Legacy:
You are able to pass on value and knowledge to your children
and/or other people.
- Physical:
You exercise and regularly engage in physical
activity.
- Integrity:
You keep promises; you are as good as your word and act on
your values.
- Respect:
You have high self-esteem; you keep your
self-respect.
- Saying
No: You are able to say no without feeling
guilt.
- Supportive
Environment: You organize your environment to support
what you do.
- Grateful:
You feel grateful for what you have and for what you are
able to do.
Here
is a grading system to tally your happiness scale: 90-100:
You are outstandingly happy and fulfilled. 80-90: You are
very happy and positive about life. 70-80: You are happy
and bring a positive perspective most of the time. 60-70:
You are positive and happy more often than not but there a few
areas where you experience unhappiness. 50-60: You are
often not sure if you are happy or not, fulfilled or
not. 40-50: You are more often unhappy than you are
happy. 30-40: You are experiencing difficulty and little
happiness at this time. Below 30 - You need to take
action, to make changes. You need to act now. Find in the list
above the one element in which you can effect an immediate
change. Take action about it now without delay!
What about
money? Having money doesn't make you happy as
much as its absence makes you unhappy. Money can help with
many of the items above but is not a guarantee by itself.
Money cannot buy integrity or open and authentic
relationships.
Reflect One more reflection: consider the
topography versus weather systems of happiness. Everyone
experiences setbacks - an illness, a death in the family,
financial reversals, estrangements from family or divorce, all
of which may result in situational struggles or even
depression. These are the weather systems of life which come
and go. More permanent than the weather system is the
topography, the lay of the land you create in your life as a
result of your choices, habits, and inner formation. The 20
elements above can help you create topography of happiness,
one that can then withstand any challenging weather system
passing through.
Act
- You
are ultimately in charge of your inner state. Take
responsibility for your happiness in life and at work.
- Have
a forensic approach - discover what makes you happy and what
makes you unhappy in life and at work. Fashion your life to
reduce unhappiness and build the elements of happiness.
First be diagnostic about it and then take action.
- Gather
around you happy, high energy, positive people. They will
energize you; help you stay fresh, vibrant and
positive.
- You
spend many hours at work. Make it a happy place! Conspire
with your team to make your workplace happy. You want to
feel as energized when you think about Monday morning as you
do thinking about Saturday.
- Managers,
next time you are faced with a hiring opportunity, how about
adding to your hiring interview the following two questions:
How would you rate yourself
on the 1 to 10 scale of happiness: 10 being very fulfilled
and happy and zero being depressed, sad, not wanting to get
out of bed?
You can then follow it with this:
Tell me about 5 things that
make you happy. After asking 10 people these two
questions you will get a good sense of what these reveal
about candidates. As a rule of thumb, unless you have a very
good reason, don't hire someone who grades themselves on
1-to-10 happiness scale at 6 or below. Why would you want to
bring unhappy energy to your team? Both unhappiness and
happiness are infectious.
Happiness
matters. Focus now on the happiness elements important for you
and take action! It's now your turn. Turn the key. Be your own
leader.
©
Aviv Shahar |
|
Leadership
& Management - A Greater Whole |
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| Let's
stop grappling with the question about which is more
important, a Manager or a Leader. "Leading" and "managing" do
not constitute a polarity. They are both important functions
that complete each other. You need both.
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